Monday, May 28, 2007

Weekend Challenge #3 - Struggling Along

Things have been a mixed bag since my last post.

We finally made it to the municipal pool on Sunday after buying the world's most expensive bathing suits. It felt good to exercise, and I spotted several people (mostly mothers with small kids) who were even bigger than me. We were the only ones swimming in the lap pool, so I felt at least somewhat vindicated. So, that was the good part.

The bad part of the pool was that my ass has grown so large that it wants to float like giant butt-shaped bubble on the top of the water, and it's almost impossible to do the breast stroke, because my behind floats so high that my face is automatically shoved underwater. That was unpleasant. The other bad part was that after I swam a few laps (I felt fine in the pool, though a little winded) and I decided to get out, all the blood ran out of my head and I could barely heave myself up the ladder. For a moment, I imagined all the life guards trying to fish my fat carcass out of the water, and that gave me renewed energy to haul myself out of the pool.

Afterwards I felt queasy, and almost lost my lunch on the pool deck. We went home early, and I took a 30-minute nap and felt better.

I am so out of shape!

I also got pretty discouraged by the news that a friend graduated from college this weekend but nobody informed us that it was this weekend she was graduating. We knew it was coming up, but nobody told us the date, and I was really bummed to get an e-mail saying that she'd missed us. I burst into tears.

If she'd only told us, we would have been there.

The fact that my other friend is going to Iraq in less than a week is also weighing heavily on my mind. If that weren't enough to make your average herd of elephants feel bummed out, it's also looking like our vacation plans will be canceled because of an unexpected, unavoidable and very large bill.

Crap.

On the plus side, I managed to more-or-less restrain myself at the final potluck of the weekend. I wasn't quite as determined as I was for the first one, but I also didn't eat anything all day except for a bowl of cereal, so I figured I could indulge a little. I had some raw veggies, a jumbo-sized hot dog, some beans, and two helpings of dessert. I just can't eat as much as I used to.

My weight was up 0.4 lbs from yesterday morning, but still down a total of about 1.6 lbs from Friday. I can't complain too much about that news.

All I've had today so far is a bowl of cereal with strawberries and I am absolutely starving. My SO is outside building some raised gardening beds lined with mesh so we can plant potatoes that the gophers won't be able to eat. I should probably go out and help, but I've been laying on my bed talking on the phone instead.

So much for being motivated today.

The past few nights I've been having all kinds of crazy food dreams. The other night, I dreamt I had a bowl of mint chip ice cream (my favorite!) but when I went to try and eat it, I couldn't because it was made of plastic. In the dream I became quite upset and cried because I couldn't eat the ice cream, and the man who gave it to me was becoming quite agitated and yelling at me in Arabic because I wouldn't eat his ice cream.

I'm starting to feel like food is becoming an obsession. I'm constantly thinking about it. I hope this will wear off after a while.

1 comment:

Lady T said...

i've had a long work day but i am slowly muddling thru your weekend......

i can sooo relate to the lack of motivation...i had very little this past weekend and am embarrassed to admit that i put on my gym clothes and stayed in them all day bc i never made it out the door...i wont embarrass myself further by telling you how close the work out room is to my door.

i too think the same thoughts as i see fat people (was that in this post? i dunno)...some queer satisfaction at seeing a butt bigger than mine...'at least my doesn't quiver like that when i walk" (or does it?....hmmmm)..."at least i don’t have as much cellulite"...then feeling bad bc my behind is rather formidable...then feeling worse bc i am wondering who is looking at my big butt with queer satisfaction as well....