On the plus side, I did get some exercise this morning. We walked a bit over two miles, which included climbing up an enormous staircase up the side of a hill. We'd planned to climb the stairs at the nearby office building, but the doors to the staircases were locked, so we had to go elsewhere. The staircase we ended up climbing was so challenging that after the first try we decided to walk around rather than go back down and up. After one long climb, I exhausted. If we'd tried the stairs again, I probably would have gotten sick to my stomach.
This morning, I had a late breakfast (a bowl of cereal, non-fat milk and sliced strawberries) and waited for the potluck. By the time we arrived, I was starving. Fortunately, I kept it mostly under control. Although I did have some treats, I still ended up feeling deprived.
I made one small plate for myself. I skipped the meat, the macaroni salad, the chips, and most of the stuff that I really wanted to eat. I had a big scoop of vegetarian, fat-free beans we'd made from scratch, a slice of watermelon, and the tiniest serving of scalloped potatoes. The potatoes were delicious, so I had a second small helping.
I drank water. I passed on the beer, soda and other stuff.
For dessert, they served a whole raft of treats. I had a sliver of key lime pie, and a tiny brownie.
I was still hungry after lunch, but I stopped eating anyway. There will be no dinner tonight, which is just as well. I've probably done more than enough damage to my diet already.
The thing I found most difficult was watching my friends fill plate after plate of food, while I stopped at one. Everyone else was groaning and patting their bellies after the meal, and I sat quietly, feeling my stomach growl. I wanted to pile my plate, too, but doing so won't help me accomplish my goals.
Nobody noticed that I wasn't eating so much, though a family member who was there noticed that I was quieter than usual. "You sure have been quiet the last few times we've been together," she said.
I just shrugged and said that I didn't have much to say because my life is incredibly boring right now. The real truth is that I'm having a really hard time sticking to my diet, and being around people is just really, really hard at the moment.
I hope it gets easier.
My friend leaves for Iraq in a week. I want to lose enough weight that she doesn't recognize me when she returns. She'll be gone for six months, so if I
By the time I get to my final goal, I will have lost 54% of my original body weight. I'll weigh less than half of what I did when I started.
That's a lot of weight. I wonder what it will be like to be half of me.