I'm down 5.6 lbs since last Tuesday. That makes me very happy.
I've lost a total of 15.4 lbs during the challenge, and a total of 22.6 lbs since I started my diet at the end of April. My total weight loss represents roughly 8% of my original body weight, so I guess that's not so bad.
In objective terms, I know I'm doing well. Even so, I have to admit to feeling frustrated. Although the numbers are going down on the scale, I haven't seen some of the results I was expecting:
- My body fat percentage has only dropped by 1.3 percentage points. When I started, I was at 49.8% body fat. As of last Friday's weigh-in, I was at 48.5% body fat. I've made an effort to be more active, and I expected much better results.
- I am still waiting to notice positive changes in my body. When I look in the mirror, I don't see any difference. My rear is still huge, my breasts are still saggy and I still have the problem I described back in late May. I think the only change I've noticed is that I seem to have a case of chronically sore muscles.
- I'm still waiting to see an appreciable change in the way my clothing fits. Unlike my SO, who has completely shrunk out of several pairs of pants, my clothes still fit. I'd hoped by now I would have shrunk out of my pants, or at least managed to wear some of my old clothes.
- I'm still waiting for people to notice that I've lost weight. Everyone seems to be noticing that my SO has lost weight, but other than one friend back in May, nobody has commented about me.
When I started the May Day Weight Loss Challenge 12 weeks ago, I can't say that I had any particular goals for the challenge. I figured I'd use it as just another tool to help with my accountability. I wasn't sure I'd be able to lose any weight at all, since I've dieted and failed, and dieted and failed so many times before. I figured I had no idea what would be a realistic goal to set in terms of weight loss, body composition, or anything else.
I'm definitely going to keep going with the challenge and with my diet after the challenge ends, but I'm really starting to wish that I could actually see some results in the way that I look and feel. I realize that weight loss and better health should be its own reward, but I'm wanting to reap some of the external rewards as well. I am tired of waiting for compliments, better fitting clothes, or being able to squeeze into items that I grew out of months or years ago. None of those external rewards have come yet, and I'm asking myself how much longer is it going to be?