Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Day 49 - What Should I Blog About Today?

I considered not writing this morning because I really couldn't come up with anything diet-related that I wanted to talk about.

Sure, there's lots of stuff I could say, but mostly it would be repetitive griping. You know, the usual stuff like I'm tired, I feel grumpy, and I'm starting to get cold. Nothing positive there, so I feel like I should just shut up about it already.

Or, I could talk about stuff in the TMI (Too Much Information) category. I could share that during my diet vacation I became very constipated, but this morning I had an amazing case of the Atomic Butt Blasts and it wouldn't surprise me at all if I crapped out at least 10 lbs!

Well maybe not 10 lbs, but I'd definitely believe 3 lbs. It's happened before!

I suppose I could perseverate on the fact that my MIL is coming in for a visit in 17 days, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to get my weight down to 218 lbs by the time she arrives. If I can, I'll no longer be morbidly obese. Instead, I'll just be plain old obese, which is definitely better than being morbid.

Why is it they have to come up with such depressing names for fat people, anyway? Why don't they come up with nicer names that don't sound so terrible.

Here's the new names I propose:

Old NameNew Name
Morbidly ObesePachydermal
Super ObeseCetacean

I mean really, don't you think that it would sound just a bit nicer if someone said, "Hey check out that cetacean woman over there!" Doesn't that just sound nicer than "Hey, check out that super-obese woman over there!"

Well, maybe the truth is that none of it sounds nice, and that's why we should all lose weight.

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