Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Day 21 - Saboteurs

I am getting really tired of the diet saboteurs, namely The Wife and The Kid, who live in my house.

It seems like just about every night either The Wife or The Kid is trying to convince me I should eat something I shouldn't. Last week, I tried eating small meals during dinner. It slowed my weight loss to a screeching halt, plus I had to listen to both The Wife and The Kid whining about how little I was eating.

I told The Wife no more, and then she decided we were going to go out to dinner on Friday, and we ended up going out again on Saturday because my father unexpectedly popped into town. Then, The Wife and The Kid wanted to pop out and get pizza Sunday night.

I told them no, and there was a certain amount of sulking about it.

Last night we had a big Family Talk about something related to The Kid, and because it was a good family talk, then The Wife and The Kid wanted to go out for pizza.

I said no.

The Kid drew me aside and proceeded to give me a big lecture of how my diet was making her feel bad, and that she felt like she should also be on Cambridge (even though she's not overweight in the slightest) because it "wasn't fair" that they were eating and I wasn't. Furthermore, she told me, she didn't like going out for pizza without me, because it made her lonely.

I listened, but couldn't help feeling pretty darn mad.

Later that evening, I gathered them both up and told them flat out that I didn't appreciate their attempts at sabotaging my diet. I told them I was trying to lose weight because I am more than 100 lbs (more than what my 13-year-old daughter weighs) over the maximum healthy weight for my height. I also said that I was just tired of being fat, and I was tired of my weight getting in the way of things I want to do.

I wasn't trying to be mean, but I reduced The Wife to tears. The Kid is usually pretty stoic, so she didn't cry, but I could tell I made her feel bad.

I have to say, though, I am done being nice about the diet sabotage. Although I'm willing to go out once in a while, and I'm willing to give myself a break from time to time, I'm not willing to put up with invites to eat out every night of the week.

I've said my piece nicely. Next time it comes up, I'm going to start yelling.

And really, with the recession nibbling at our doorstep, and The Wife's job now converted to a month-to-month arrangement instead of an annual contract, I think the money we were spending on eating out would be better placed in our savings account.

1 comment:

skinny latte said...

Well done on standing up for yourself. It can be very disheartening and hurtful when those closest to us don't give us the support that we need. It's only because they are afraid of change. They've grown used to you being a certain way, and dealing the new you that is emerging can be tough for people. I know, I've been there.

If you've said your piece, then they know that they've got to toe the line now and be a bit more supportive. If it happens again, don't get mad, just say really calmly "I've told you how I feel about this, and I really need your help and support." Making them feel like you need their help can really diffuse the situation.

Perhaps (if this is an option) another way to handle it is to say, "ok guys, YOU go out for pizza if you want, but I'm staying here and eating something healthy." And see how they react then. Make your own pizza - it's better than the bought stuff anyday (I think!) and fun to make as a family!

All the best :)