Thursday, March 12, 2009

Day 30 - The Root of Sabotage

Well, I finally got to the bottom of why The Wife was trying to sabotage my diet at every turn.

It seems fear was her problem.

Fear? How's that work exactly?

Well, it seems that The Wife has been worrying that once I lose all this weight and become slim and attractive to other people, I'll just dump her and go looking for someone else.

I did my best to reassure her that was not the case. We've been together for a decade now, and I don't really want to end our relationship. That thought was so far from my mind that it was laughable, but I did my best to be kind, and not just laugh in her face at the sheer absurdity of it all.

I am not leaving The Wife when I lose weight. At least not unless she dumps me first.

At the moment I feel like I'm in the middle of a race between my stomach and the United Parcel Service truck. I ran out of Cambridge powder, so I'm hoping the truck gets here soon. Last night I ended up having a small dinner with the family, but it doesn't seem to have done much damage. I'll know better on my next weigh in, which is scheduled for next Wednesday.

I have to say that I'm struggling a bit with the big picture. Although I'm really happy about this week's 5 lb loss, I started feeling pretty discouraged when I realized I'm going to be at this for at least another 6-9 months. Even though I've lost 19 lbs since I started CD, and I've lost almost 23 from my high weight, I'm still not noticing a difference in my clothes.

Last night, I went through my closet to see what I had stashed away, and found pants as large as a size 20 and as small as a 14. I know I have even smaller clothes packed away in boxes in the garage, so I don't think I'll need to do much in the way of clothing shopping for a while. At the moment, I've got several pairs of extra-large sweat pants, and two pair of size 24 jeans. Oddly enough, the two pair of jeans are the same manufacturer, style and size, but they fit very differently. One is loose, while the other is tight. The difference? The two pair of jeans were sewn in different factories.

Tomorrow The Wife and I will be chaperoning a field trip for The Kid's school. Although I'm looking forward to the ultimate destination, I'm not looking forward to a three-hour bus ride each way. Fortunately, the school chartered a bus, so we'll have bathrooms on board. These days, I can't seem to go five minutes without ending up in the bathroom.

The joys of an all-liquid diet, plus trying to down 2 liters of water on top of it.

1 comment:

ulke said...

Think about it like this.. 20 pounds is the average weight of a one-year old. To lose that is not an easy accomplishment! You have much, much, much more willpower than I do! So, stay strong and good luck!