Thursday, July 10, 2008

Dieter's Dilemma

Have you ever noticed the following dilemma?

As soon as you decide to do something, or not do something, it becomes almost an obsession to do otherwise?

On Monday, I decided that it really was beyond time to get back on track. On Monday, I decided it was once again time to cut back on my eating, increase my activity level, and drink enough water to fill a swimming pool. So far, I've been doing it, but it seems that I am constantly obsessing over doing the wrong thing.

I don't feel like walking. I don't want to drink another ounce of water because I'm tired of peeing every 15 minutes. I'm hungry, and I'm obsessing about food I shouldn't eat.

I really am doing okay. Even today's hamburger horror wasn't a complete disaster. I had a bowl of soup, half a hamburger, a few fries, and a couple of bites of my kid's chicken strips. Given that I consumed only about 200 calories for breakfast, and plan on eating very little for dinner, I'm doing just fine.

But still, I'm obsessing about things I shouldn't eat, and dwelling on the fact that I don't want to exercise.

In response to my comment on Wednesday that I wanted to stab myself with a titanium spork, dancer-in-me left the following comment:
Can you get away?? Pamper yourself alittle? See a movie, pedi, shopping? Something to get away. OR take the family out to a movie or park and have a good time together. Something that will make you all laugh. It is true that laughter is the best medicine.

I would love a vacation, but the truth is, we just had one. Our honeymoon consisted of two days at a lovely resort, but it was just too short. I used up my only week of summer vacation because I decided to take days off for our wedding and honeymoon, so that's basically it for the summer.

I work at a job that doesn't offer any sort of paid time off, so it's really hard to get away. Even if I decide to take time off without pay, my boss inevitably calls and asks for something. During our honeymoon, he called to ask to perform a task that would have taken a full day to complete. I e-mailed him back from my cell phone and declined, as I hadn't had the forethought to bring a laptop on my honeymoon.

Our next break will be a long weekend of camping in August, but that isn't very satisfying because I want time off now.

I just need to find a way to be less grumpy and stop obsessing over what I shouldn't be doing on my own.

Titanium spork, anyone?

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