So I've been here before. I've been to the point where mere obesity is just a few pounds away, but I've never managed to cross the line. I've come tantalizingly close, but each time I get there, things change and the goal slips ever more elusively away.
If I could lose just five pounds I would no longer be morbidly obese.
Will it happen this time?
I don't know.
I will say that my worries about divorce are big enough that my appetite is unusually low. I've skipped dinner several nights this week for various reasons, but I haven't been particularly distressed about it. Usually, going to bed hungry is my worst nightmare. I find it hard to fall asleep, and I'll wake up at 3:00 AM starving and unable to drift off again.
But lately? Last night The Wife made dinner, and I just didn't have the stomach for it. I couldn't even finish my lunch. I felt hungry, but my stomach was flipping and rolling like and I knew that if I ate anything I would end up feeling sick. The day before, I ended up forgetting to eat my lunch and didn't eat until almost 4:00 PM. By the time dinner rolled around, I wasn't hungry. A few days before that, I met a friend for coffee (I ordered bottled water) and didn't get home until late. I figured it was just too late to eat, so I went to bed.
Surprisingly, I haven't had much trouble being unable to sleep because I'm hungry. Sure, I've been awake thinking other things, but my stomach has not been one of them.
So I see that goal of being simply obese floating ahead, tantalizing me. It's so close, and yet it seems like it is a million miles away.
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