Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Trying to Hold on to Optimism

It's been a rough few days.

This morning, I spent a good while crying.  I'm sad for a whole bunch of reasons, most of which are connected, directly or indirectly, with my upcoming divorce.

I am finding that it is hard to be in a lame duck marriage.

Nothing has changed, really.  We are still doing everything as we once did.  The Wife still cooks dinner.  We eat together.  We still sleep in the same bed, though now separated by a gulf on separate sides.

From all outward appearances, nothing has changed.

And yet, everything has changed.

It's hard.

I am trying to hold on to optimism.  I keep reminding myself this too shall pass.  I know that everything will work out for the best.  I've had many bad things happen to me in my life, and this is a lot less terrible than many of them.

Still, I feel like a part of me dies a little each day.

I want someone to love me.

Is that so much to ask?

Apparently so.

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