Guys Who Chase Fat Chicks

About a week ago, I put an ad up in the strictly platonic section of Craigslist, looking for new friends.  I wrote a post saying that I was open to male or females, listed some of my interests, and made it clear that I was not looking for any sort of sexual adventures.

My motivation is to increase my circle of friends.  I've never had many friends to begin with, and over time those that I did have moved away.  Knowing that a divorce may well be in my future, I need to create some sort of social network for myself.

I've received a few replies and I've responded to a few platonic ads as well.  I'm finding a trend, though, that I'm not sure what to make of.

First off, it seems that a lot of people don't really understand what the word platonic means, even though they are posting and responding to ads in that section.  I've received a few replies that really seemed to be thinly-veiled and not-so-thinly-veiled solicitations for sex, which I ignored.

Even with the friends I'm starting to make, it seems that sex is not far from anyone's mind.  A few days ago, one of my recently-found texting buddies started drunk-texting me in the middle of the night and wanted me to come over to his house.

I've never met him, I am in a committed relationship, I am morbidly obese, and I'm probably 10-15 years older than he is.  If he was beeping me at one o'clock in the morning, it's pretty clear that he only wanted One Thing.

As bad as it might sound for my character, I don't fault him for wanting that One Thing.  He is, after all, young and male.

I didn't discover his texts until the following morning.  For a moment, I wondered what I would have done if I had been awake.  I'm sure I would have just texted back and forth, teased him a little, and gone back to sleep.

Talk is cheap, and I'll probably never meet this particular texting buddy in person.

Still, I'll admit to briefly imagining running over there.  I would never actually do it, but it was fun to think about for all of about 30 seconds.  I wouldn't follow through because I hate infidelity, and all of my first-time experiences with a new sexual partner have been less-than-wonderful.  They've been awkward, embarrassing, and unsatisfying, so I want to reserve that activity for someone who I know and care about, and who wants something more serious than another notch in his bedpost.

I do have to admit to feeling flattered, though.  The man is gorgeous.  He's tall and fit and oh-so-incredibly-nummy-looking.  In real life, I can't remember the last time anyone (male or female) flirted with me.  Even when I was young, I wasn't pretty, and no one noticed me.

I was a plankton long before I was over 40.

I do wonder if the reason Mr. Gorgeous (and men like him) go after fat women is simply because they are hoping for sex.  If you look on the personal ads, most men are looking for women who are HWP (height-weight proportionate).  I've seen ad after ad where guys say things like, "Sorry, I'm not attracted to overweight women."  If you are a heavy woman, you just don't have all that many choices.

So I wonder, is Mr. Gorgeous looking for thick chicks because he really likes them, or is he looking because he knows that heavy women aren't being asked out by good-looking guys?  If they aren't being asked out, maybe they will be a little bit more likely to put out in the hopes that they'll be able to keep their beautiful date.

I have another long-time male friend who has never wanted a relationship.  His interest in women is confined to FWB (friends with benefits) arrangements.  I get the impression that he's slept with a great many ladies in his day, and he's told me that there isn't a great deal of difference between them when it comes to the actual physical act of intercourse.  He's done it with fat women, thin women, old women and young women, and at the end of the day it's all the same.  He chooses ladies with whom he can have some sort of friendship, and takes it from there.

So if my friend is right and there really is no difference, perhaps Mr. Gorgeous is also aware of this and hopes he'll get luckier quicker with fat chicks because they have fewer options.  Of course he could very well be sincere and looking for a long term relationship.

I don't know.  How do you know what anyone's motivation really is?

Another one of my recently-found Craigslist friends I met in person.  He's a few years older than me and is pretty heavy himself.  He is in a long-distance relationship with a woman.  He was interested in a platonic friendship because he doesn't have much to do after work.  One evening we were texting (I think about weight loss and health) and I made the comment that I was fat.  His response was surprising.  He said, "Fat is beautiful."

I didn't say this, but I thought, "No, it's not."