Weekly Weigh-In #19

Well, here it is, another weekly weigh-in. When i start looking at the week numbers, I shake my head and find it hard to believe that I've managed to hang in for so long. This week, I'm down quite a bit from last Friday, but I'm most certainly up from my all-time low last Tuesday. However, I think last Tuesday's results are questionable, as I may have been experiencing a scale malfunction.

Weight       231.2 lbs (-3.4)
Body Fat      47.7% (-0.3)
Body H20      37.2% (+0.2)
Bone Mass      7.4 lbs (-0.3)
Muscle Mass   46.9 lbs (-0.4)

So overall, I guess this is a good week.

We'll see how this weekend goes. We are going to be attending a big party, and I have to wash and wax my car this weekend. Worse, it's Labor Day weekend, which means it's the last time I'm going to be able to be lazy for a while. From now until the end of the year, it's work, work, work.

The Kid

I know this post isn't going to be very weight-loss related, but Shannon asked:

On a completely different note, how's The Kid???

For those of you who haven't been following my blog, the reason Shannon is asking because we were told recently by some so-called "experts" that The Kid is essentially a gifted retard. These same experts think that The Kid needs to be in special education and will need a whole raft of supportive services for the rest of her life.

The powers that be are claiming The Kid has the intellectual equivalent of a 40-watt light bulb.

In my not-so-humble opinion, a 40-watt light bulb doesn't speak two languages and wouldn't be able to wipe her own ass without help, let alone make huge improvements in school. Like I said, the words, "you will go to class," and "you will do your homework." can make a lot of difference in a child's life.

The truth is, I don't see The Kid as having any intellectual problems. She's behind in school for one reason, and one reason only: before she moved in, she didn't go to school. You can't expect a kid to miss school on a consistent basis and come away as smart as a astrophysicist.

I think The Kid is going to be just fine, but professionals are panicking and running around like a flock of chickens with their collective heads cut off. Although the initial news was quite disturbing, the truth is that nothing has changed. The Kid is the same kid that was living here before an "expert" proclaimed doom and gloom forever. If I am not seeing a serious problem, and The Kid's teachers are happy with her academic progress, then I guess I can feel pretty comfortable in telling the "experts" to go urinate up a fibrous strand. (That's go piss up a rope for the non-snooty folks.)

The Kid is fine. We are fine. Once we got over the initial shock of what the experts were telling us, we realized they were basically completing an exercise in bovine scatology (the study of bullshit) and getting everybody excited over a great big nothing. That's not to say that the kid isn't going to have troubles in school down the road, but I think the problems we are going to face aren't as big of a deal as the dudes with the BS (Bull Shit), MS (More Shit) and PhD (Piled High and Deeper) designations after their names claim.

It's all good.

Well, not entirely. I had a hamburger for dinner and I'm stuffed.

How Much Do I Really Weigh, Anyway?

I'm still fighting the battle of the conflicting scale readings.

It makes me wonder if, instead of weighing myself, if I should just resort to using a tape measure. The only thing is, tape measure readings take longer to show results, and don't provide the same immediate feedback that a scale does.

Step on the scale, and it immediately tells you, "good job," or "don't eat so much next time, bonehead!"

But still, when you have a scale that sometimes gets a wild hair and gives you ultra-low readings that are completely undeserved, and then later on the same day claims you weigh the same as the Goodyear blimp, it does make you want to tear large handfuls of hair out of your scalp.

The good news is that it just makes me want to tear my hair out. I don't actually do it, which is a good thing. If I did, I'd be bald, and that would be bad.

So this morning, Monsieur Scale told me my weight was down again. This morning, I allegedly weighed 230.8 lbs. That's down from the freak-out inducing 232 lbs I got Tuesday night, but not as good as the wonderful (though probably false) of 229 lbs that I got Tuesday morning.

Is it possible to actually buy a bathroom scale that is accurate? If I go to my doctor's office, even their scale isn't consistent. Worse, it usually weighs me in at 5-10 lbs heavier than what I get at home.

So I want to know, how much do I really weigh, anyway?

If You Weren't So Expensive, I Would Surely Kill You By Now

Have you ever owned an expensive piece of equipment that is so frustrating you want to break it? If you have ever worked with a computer, I suspect you've probably felt that way at one time or another.

This morning, I feel the same way about our very pricey bathroom scale.

Yesterday was a deliberately very-low-calorie day so we could wrap up with a trip to the ice cream store. It was delicious. When we got home, The SO decided to step on the scale and see what the damage was. The scale showed a three pound loss since morning.

WTF?

I jumped on and the scale claimed I'd lost two pounds since the morning. Not possible. "Something is wrong with the scale," I claimed.

We dug our our old bathroom scale -- the frustrating digital scale that changes the displayed weight every time you breathe. It showed each of us about five pounds higher that the weight our supposedly super-expensive, super-accurate scale claimed.

Double WTF??

We spent the next 20 minutes changing batteries, weighing 10-lb bags of bird seed, and stepping on one scale and then the other. We even tried to weigh ourselves on a freight scale we bought for eBay, but it only had a weight limit of 150 lbs. At one point, The SO bumped the fancy scale, quite hard by accident, and then the numbers started to match what the older scale claimed.

So this morning, I weighed 232, not 229 like I did Tuesday morning.

I am so annoyed. This is not the first time this has happened. Last time, I thought it was just a problem with batteries.

Is it possible to commit scale murder?

May Day Weight Loss Challenge Weigh-In #16

Hard to believe that I've been participating in this challenge for a total of 16 weeks now, but there you have it. I've managed to hang in.

Given my propensity to give up on diets, I'm surprised I'm still here.

It turns out, also to my surprise, that this week has been a very good week. I've lost 3.4 lbs since last Tuesday. To be honest, I really don't know how I did it. I haven't been trying very hard, and I've mostly abandoned much in the way of exercise because I keep breaking out in hives.

(And yeah, I know I should go see my doctor, but even though I have health insurance it still costs money, and I have to take time away from work, so it's not going to happen any time soon.)

Not only did I lose a lot of weight this week, I've also dropped out of the 230's. This morning, my weight was an even 229 lbs, which brings me to a total loss of 20.8 lbs for the challenge and a total loss of 28 lbs.

I really can't explain this sudden drop in weight. Even Sunday night's incident (warning, gross!) doesn't fully explain the dramatic drop.

But of course, being Oinkstop, I can't just be happy with the fact that I've lost almost 30 pounds. No, being Oinkstop, I have to find something to complain about.

Okay, here goes: My clothes still fit! (grrr)

The Insanity of It All

On Friday, my weight was up a tiny bit. Truthfully, I expected it to be up because I ate a huge amount of Thai food on Thursday.

I didn't make the best food choices over the weekend, but in retrospect they really weren't all that bad. My weight continued to climb over the weekend, and by Sunday afternoon, I was starting to freak out a little.

For dinner on Sunday, I had a small serving of whole wheat spaghetti with tomato sauce, and almost no Parmesan cheese, along with some asparagus. I didn't put any butter or mayo on the asparagus, and it was about the most boring stuff I'd ever had.

After dinner, I started getting these really painful and strange stomach cramps. I ran to the bathroom. To be quite graphic and blunt, I sat down and gave birth to an ocean liner.

This morning, my weight was down 4.2 lbs from Friday.

A four-pound turd. Who'd have thought?

Weekly Weigh-In #18

Down a little bit from Tuesday's weigh in, up from last Friday.

Weight       234.6 lbs (+1.2)
Body Fat      48.0% (-0.0)
Body H20      37.0% (+0.1)
Bone Mass      7.7 lbs (-0.0)
Muscle Mass   47.3 lbs (+0.2)

Looks like my estimated completion date has been pushed out to 94 weeks. If I keep doing like I'm doing, I'll be done in June of 2009.

This is taking just way too damn long.

Thanks for the Shout-Out

Kiran, over at The Big Drop gave me a nice shout out today, so I thought I'd put up a post to extend my thanks. He liked the Milestones section on the right navigation of my blog, and he's posted a similar thing on his.

Right now the little notes from readers, even if they aren't weight-loss related, mean a lot. We are still sorting out all the news about The Kid, and it's a tough pill to swallow.

Basically, the "experts" are telling us The Kid needs to be placed into a special education class. It's a puzzling, unique and difficult situation made all the more complex because The Kid came to us by the miracle of the state social services office, rather than squirting out my hoo-ha in a big glop of goo...

Isn't that cool? I ended up with a kid but I didn't have to get pregnant and worry about the post-delivery weight loss problems. Oh, wait a second, I still have to be on a diet anyway. I guess it didn't buy me all that much. Rats.

At least the stork didn't deliver her. I'm sure that it would have broken his little feathered back trying to haul an 80-lb kid across the sky.

But back to The Kid's problems, she's profoundly behind in school because the-powers-that-be didn't made sure that she attended regularly before she was dropped off at our house. Now that she's with us, she's advanced tremendously. (Amazing what the words, "You will go to class, and you will do your homework" can do.) But even so, "the experts" believe there to be a problem, and a series of psychological tests have revealed a mishmash of confusing and contradictory information.

At least the news is better today. Yesterday, the "experts" were telling us that The Kid is a retard. Today, they tell me that she's a gifted retard.

Gee, that makes me feel oh-so-much-better.

Anyway, I realize that none of this has one crumb to do with weight loss, but this is my blog, and I get to write about whatever I want.

So I'll end on a weight-related note. Despite the crummy news from "the experts," we got the results back on some academic testing that's absolutely great. The Kid has worked hard and done well, so we went out for dinner to celebrate The Kid's achievement.

We went out for Thai food. I ate way more than I should have. I enjoyed every bite.

My weight was up a little this morning, and I don't f*cking care.

In a Tizzy

I was hoping to have something witty, informative or helpful to say today, but I just can't come up with anything. We got some news yesterday about The Kid that is pretty disturbing, and we are trying to figure out what to do about it.

Basically, some "professionals" think that she needs to be placed in special education, and that she's mentally quite incapable.

The assessment runs counter to everything that I've observed in The Kid. Her current teacher, my friends and even my family think the results are basically crap.

I don't think this assessment is actually going to change the way we approach The Kid's education, but getting this kind of news is upsetting and stressful, even if it doesn't change what we are doing.

So I really don't have anything to write about that's weight-loss related, unless you care about the fact that I had yogurt and raspberries for breakfast and for lunch.

May Day Weight Loss Challenge Weigh-In #15

This week, I ended up with a totally undeserved, but much appreciated loss of 2.4 lbs. I'm down to 232.4 lbs, which is just 0.4 lbs higher than the lowest weight I've seen on the scale so far. I've lost a total of 17.4 lbs during the May Day Weight Loss Challenge, and 24.6 lbs since I started my diet.

I'm not begrudging that 0.4 lbs at all. Considering all the crap that I ate this past weekend, I was fully expecting to be punished by the scale gods this morning. I've commented on this before -- I really don't think that there's a whole lot of rhyme or reason when it comes to figuring out the relationship between what I stuff in my face and the results on the scale.

I mean come on, consuming a huge milkshake for lunch should have produced a negative result.

I'm going to give up on trying to figure this out. I simply can't.

In other news, over the weekend we went to have a family portrait shot. The photographer asked us to wear similar clothing, so we all wore black pants with white shirts, thus avoiding a shopping trip. Since I telecommute most of the time, I only own one pair of dress pants, and I put them on. It has been quite a while since I wore them, so I was hoping to see a major difference in the way they fit.

I'll admit, they are a little bit looser. Certainly that was a good thing, since the handle of the zipper broke off in the wash, and it's a challenge to get the pants zipped, since they have a stupid side zipper. (Whatever fashion designer came up with that moronic idea should be shot!) But I was disappointed. Unlike The SO, who at the 25-lb mark was literally falling out of clothing, the pants still were quite wearable. They were slightly looser, but that was about the extent of it.

I am still waiting for my friends to start noticing I'm losing weight. Everyone is noticing and commenting that The SO has lost weight, but nobody has noticed my own efforts.

I guess the reason why nobody is really noticing is perhaps that I am much more overweight than The SO, who only has a total of 87 lbs to lose. I need to lose a total of 139 lbs. Maybe it's just that I'm so heavy people are too embarrassed to comment. After all, what are they going to say? "Oinkstop, wow, you were so huge! You are still huge now, but you are a little smaller!"

Better say nothing if you don't have anything nice to say, right?

Anyway, I'm definitely happy with my weight loss this week. I guess I should drink more milkshakes.

Yeah, right.

Bewildered Again

Once again, I find myself completely mystified by the diet equation known as my body.

Friday and Saturday, I ate. A lot. On Saturday, I had a milkshake for lunch. Later in the afternoon, we gathered at my parent's house because there was a death in my stepmother's family, and we ate.

By all rights, I expected to see a gain on the scales this morning. I expected to see a 1-2 lb gain, and I was okay with it. After all, I deserved what I got. Eating crap means seeing gains on the scale.

So I stepped on the scale, head low, knowing that I deserved to be punished by the scale gods.

So what did I see?

A 1.4 lb loss from my weigh-in on Friday, and a new, all-time low on the scale.

Go figure. Like I've said, there seems to be no rhyme or reason when it comes to my weight any more.

Well, I'm certainly not complaining. I actually let out a cheer when I saw the results on the scale.

Unbelievable.

Weekly Weigh-In #17

Well, here it is, another Friday. Here are my weight loss results for the week:

Weight       233.4 lbs (-0.8)
Body Fat      48.0% (-0.3)
Body H20      36.9% (+0.3)
Bone Mass      7.7 lbs (-0.0)
Muscle Mass   47.1 lbs (+0.6)

Looks like I'm down a little bit from last week, so that's a good thing. I'm 0.4 lbs above my all-time lowest weight so far but I guess I can't complain so much. Down is down, after all.

All total, I've lost 23.6 lbs in 17 weeks. Since my weight loss has slowed to about 1.3 lbs a week, it looks like the estimated completion date of my diet has been pushed back yet again. If things keep going along at the same clip they have been, I'll be at my goal weight in 83 weeks. That gives me a target date of 3/20/2009.

I need to figure out how to hurry this along a little bit. It seems like every week I estimate when I'll be finished, the date gets pushed out into the future further and further.

I know that adding some exercise to the equation would probably help, but I'm pretty much stymied in that area. I realize that exercise is really good for you, but the price I pay (a really bad case of itchy hives) just isn't worth it. I've had the problem of exercised-induced urticaria for a while, but it seems to have become worse as I've lost weight, not better. I mean let's face it -- it's bad enough to itch so bad you want to scratch your skin off, but it's even worse that you go around looking like you've been stung by a thousand bees.

Ugh, just talking about this makes my scalp itch.

Moving on to another topic, I've noticed that there are a few things that I used to love that I don't like so much anymore. I used to really love to put on fresh clean clothes that came right out of the dryer. Now, not so much anymore.

The reason that I don't like clothes fresh out of the dryer anymore is that all my clothes tend to shrink a little when they are washed, and stretch out after being worn for a little while. When I put on a pair of pants that have already been worn for a day or two, I can think to myself, "hey, my clothes are finally getting looser!" But, when I pull them out of the dryer, I realize that the truth is nothing fits better than it did 17 weeks ago.

I've taken to wearing the same pants for a few days in a row, just so I can convince myself that my clothes fit better.

Yeah, I know, gross. At least I'm still changing my shirt and my underwear every day.

Fleeting Weight Loss

Yesterday's all-time low as all-too-fleeting as it disappeared from the scale almost as soon as it appeared. Fortunately, it's only 0.4 lbs away, so I can accept that. Truthfully, I look at 0.4 lbs as the possible weight of a really good crap, so I'm not taking this one personally.

I'm still kicking around the idea of going back on the Cambridge Diet again, though. Yeah, I know liquid diets aren't the greatest. Yeah, I know it's better to do it slowly by eating plenty of healthy food. Yeah, I know that your body will consume it's own protein if you don't get enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the truth is, I just want to see some dramatic movement. I have a friend coming back from Iraq in about four months, and I'd like my friend to see me and say, "Wow!" Even though I've lost close to 25 lbs so far, I don't think she would even notice. I think the honest truth is that I'm so fat nobody is going to notice until I am a lot thinner.

But it's not just that I want to impress the hell out of my friend when she returns. The truth is that I'm just starting to feel really tired of my body. I'm tired of those ubiquitous plastic stacking deck chairs being too small for my rear. I'm tired of having to lift up my stomach and breasts so I can wash underneath them. I'm tired of not being able to sleep on my stomach because it's so big I can't get comfortable. I'm tired of not being able to swim, because my overly-large ass floats on top of the water, which in turn forces my face under the water.

One isn't supposed to swim with your head lower than your ass. It's a good way to drown yourself.

But I also recall the parable of the jackrabbit and the tortoise. After all, it was the tortoise that won the race.

But I also realize that I'd like to be able to see my kitty again.

Administrative Details

For those who would like to comment on the blog, I've made a small change. You no longer need to be registered with Blogger, so you may leave anonymous comments. However, since enabling anonymous comments also tends to gather a lot of spam, I've turned on word verification.

Feel free to comment!

Why Couldn't It Have Been Yesterday?

Today, I am once again at a new high in lows. Just like last Wednesday, I saw a new all-time low on the scale this morning. Sadly, last week's all-time low didn't stick around for my official weigh-in, so I hope I'll have better luck hanging on to the loss this week.

Even thought I know I am pretty consistently losing weight, it doesn't feel like it. It feels like I've been stuck around the 234-lb mark for ages. I was prepared to write a colossal whine about it this morning, but decided to go back and check my weekly weigh-in results since I started my diet.

Here's what I came up with:

Week	Weight
16	234.2
15	-
14	236.4
13	237.0
12	238.8
11	-
10	-
9	244.0
8	243.2
7	243.4
6	245.6
5	245.8
4	249.4
3	249.2
2	251.8
1	254.2
0	257.0

The honest truth is that I'm doing fine, and I'm averaging a 1.4 lb loss each week. The ubiquitous "they" say that you should be happy with a 1-2 lb average loss, and I'm right there.

But it really doesn't seem like I'm losing weight. I'm still waiting for my clothes to fit better, for people to start noticing, or for something to feel like it's changed. I feel like I'm busy waiting for Godot, where I wait day after day and nothing happens.

That's not entirely fair, of course, the numbers are changing on the scale. Counting this morning's new low, I've lost a total of 24 lbs. One would think that I would be noticing changes in my body, or at least how my clothes fit by now. Despite the fact that I've lost 9% of my original body weight, I still haven't managed to shrink out of a single outfit. In contrast, my SO has lost 31 lbs (just 7 lbs more) and has dropped three pant sizes.

When my SO starts talking about dieting, the words I hate you frequently come to mind.

I guess the reality is that if you have an enormous amount of weight to lose, it just takes a long time for the changes to be noticeable. From start to finish, I will need to lose a total of 121 pounds just to make it to a normal body weight, plus another 18 on top of that to get to the weight I think I should weigh. My goal right now is to be right smack dab in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height, and right now it seems like a long way off.

In terms of overall progress, I've lost 17% of the weight I need to lose if I'm shooting for my goal weight, and 19% of the weight I need to lose if I'm just shooting for the upper range of what's considered healthy.

I try not to think of things in terms of how far I have yet to go. I try not to think of even how far I've come. I just try to focus on the now, because the future and the past both seem so overwhelming.

May Day Weight Loss Challenge Weigh-In #14

This morning's weight: 234.8.

That's down a whole 0.2 lbs from last week. Wow, color me impressed.

Can you detect just the faintest trace of sarcasm here?

I knew you could. Heh.

In truth, I really can't complain much. I just came out of what amounted to an extremely diet-unfriendly weekend, so the fact that I didn't gain any weight is actually pretty good. Our weekend was crammed full of people visiting from out of town, restaurant meals, a birthday party, and a stressful visit to the hospital to visit an elderly extended family member who just had a back-to-back heart attack and stroke.

The weekend was so off-plan that The SO had to ask, "does this mean we are quitting our diet?"

We weren't very active, though we did do a little walking around on Sunday. Not too much, though, because at short walk to a nearby garage on Thursday reminded me that I am allergic to exercise (really!) and I absolutely do not want a repeat case of itchy hives induced by exercise.

Yeah, go figure. I literally break out in hives from exercising. How's that for a dieter's nightmare?

The rest of our week is clear of breakfast, lunch and dinner dates with friends, so it means we'll be able to eat at home. Hopefully, that will push my weight further in the downward direction.

Does This Mean We Are Quitting Our Diet?

This weekend was not very diet-friendly.

On Friday, we went to the airport with a friend to pick up his mother- and father-in-law. They were flying into town to celebrate our friend's daughter's birthday. After we picked them up at the airport, we went out to dinner at a restaurant known for fabulous food.

I hadn't eaten much all day (only two instant breakfasts, one for breakfast and one for lunch) so I was hungry and ate what I wanted. It was good. Four of us shared a piece of mud pie.

On Saturday, we went out for breakfast with a friend who is leaving for graduate school in Denver, and we went to our friend's daughter's birthday party. They served hot dogs (I had one) and cake (I had a small piece). That evening The SO decided we should go out for ice cream. I had the smallest sized scoop they sell.

On Sunday, we went out for lunch at a greasy-spoon diner. We had gone for a drive, passed by this restaurant in a converted rail car, and decided to stop. The place has been their for years, but we've never eaten there. The food was ok, not special, so we won't eat there again. The location was very cool, the ambiance even cooler, but the food was only so-so and the service was slower than a herd of turtles.

We decided to split a dessert three ways.

"Does this mean we are quitting our diet?" asked The SO.

I glared. "No!"

The SO seems to have the thought that diets are a binary condition. Either you are on them or you aren't, and there's no room for life anywhere in the middle. Now I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to spend the rest of my days eating twigs and leaves. Every once in a while I just have to have real food, and that's it.

So I ate real food this weekend, and had to listen to the chorus of, "should you be eating that?" all weekend.

Shut up, already, I wanted to say. This morning I had my instant breakfast, and I'll probably have another for lunch. In the overall scheme of things, I am going to be fine.

I did skip my weigh-in this morning, though. If it was up, I just didn't want to hear a chorus of "I told you so!" from the peanut gallery.

Driver's License Race

It's funny how sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night obsessing about stuff that really doesn't matter in the overall scheme of things, but when you wake up in a cold sweat worrying about it, at the time it seems hugely important.

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking that my driver's license will come up for renewal in November of next year, and that I would really like to be at or lower than the weight listed on my license. At the moment, I weigh about 100 pounds more than that weight.

So I woke up in the middle of the night and worried how I could possibly manage to lose 100 pounds by November of 2008. It was really bothering me, and I tossed and turned and fumed about it.

When I finally got out of bed, I went and checked the expiration date on my license.

It expires, not in 2008 like I had thought, but in 2010.

I've got plenty of time. Whew.

Weekly Weigh-In #16

Well, here I am on week 16 of my never-ending diet. Here are my results. This is what I've managed to do in two weeks, since I wasn't home for my weigh-in last Friday.

Weight       234.2 lbs (-2.2)
Body Fat      48.3 % (-0.2)
Body H20      36.6 % (+0.2)
Bone Mass      7.7 lbs (-0.0)
Muscle Mass   46.5 lbs (-0.0)

So there you have it. Down just a bit over 2 lbs from two weeks ago, and down 0.8 lbs from Tuesday's weigh-in.

This is definitely not happening fast enough for me.

I've had another frustrating setback when it comes to exercise, too. Not only am I still struggling with the continuing problems of achy joints and sore muscles, a problem that I've experienced before has returned -- exercise-induced urticaria.

Exercise-induced urticaria, for those unfamiliar, is a syndrome where you break out in hives from exercise. It turns out that I am literally allergic to exercise. I've had this happen in the past, but it had mysteriously gone away on it's own. Yesterday afternoon I had an unpleasant lesson that taught me the problem has not gone away. I walked over to the repair shop to pick up my truck, and by the time I got there, I was itching like crazy. When I made it home a half hour later, I was covered with massive, itchy welts.

The worst part was that I wasn't even working that hard. I was walking quickly, but I wasn't getting myself overly tired. My pulse rate and breathing were up a little, but this wasn't like I was really trying to overtax my body in any way. I was just trying to walk over to the shop, not win a race. I definitely was not trying to arrive their out-of-breath and sweaty.

The experience was absolutely awful. I had hives on my face, scalp, neck, chest, back, arms and thighs. I itched all over, and by the time I arrived home some of the largest welts were a half-inch to an inch in diameter. I took two antihistamine tablets and the itching started to subside within a few minutes, but the welts persisted for several hours and the medication made me sleepy. I spent the remainder of the day in bed. The worst part of all of this was that I had to babysit a friend's three-year-old while The SO had to run an errand. I could barely keep my eyes open to watch him. The SO had to leave the boy with me because the boy's parents neglected to leave us a car seat.

I will definitely think twice about going for another walk any time soon. Maybe I really should try the Cambridge diet, since I know it's very effective. I was on the diet back in the 1980's, and it really did work, though it was pretty hard to stick to because I really didn't care for the taste all that much. It looks like exercise is definitely out for the time being because I'm definitely not up for repeating the cycle of exercise, break out in hives, take antihistamines, and fall asleep for the rest of the day.

A New High in Lows

This morning, I jumped on the scale to be treated to a new high in lows. I've reached the lowest weight I've seen during this diet.

That's a good thing. I'm hoping this number won't disappear like a rat down a hole tomorrow, but we'll see. For now, at least I can be excited about the morning's weigh in. I have a birthday party to attend this weekend, which I'm sure won't help me much, because there's no way in hell I'm going to see there and watch everyone else eat birthday cake.

I'm back doing the VLCD route, as it seems to be a lot more gratifying to do it for a few days, eat for a few days, then go back to VLCD again. Just doing the 1,200 calorie thing on a consistent basis (with or without exercise) hasn't been yielding the results I want to see at the scales.

Maybe this isn't the case for everyone, but I tend to get really discouraged if I don't see results right away.

What I'd really like to do is just go on an extended VLCD diet and get the weight off in a hurry and then worry about keeping it off when I get there. But I realize that with the amount of weight I have to lose, I'd need to be on a medically-supervised fast, and I'm not really into the idea of visiting the doctor once a week. Even if it weren't for the cost, I still don't want to miss that much time from work.

I'm going to just keep going the way I'm going. I'm getting very close to the 25-lbs lost mark, which is good.

I'm hoping, too, that as I lose more weight that exercise will become a more viable option. Right now, even walking hurts. My knees ache, the bottoms of my feet become unbearably sore, and my back starts to hurt. I have good shoes, so that's not the problem. I think the truth is that I'm so heavy right now that all that extra weight is just crushing down on body parts not meant to carry such a heavy load.

Despite the fact that I'm delightfully close to the 25-lb mark, I'm still not noticing much of a change in my body. My stomach still fails (passes?) Pasta Queen's pencil test, and that's probably the most disappointing part of my weight loss effort. I'm tired of my saggy stomach and I want it gone. I want to see changes in my body, and I'm just not seeing them. I'm not more energetic, my clothes still don't fit any better, and even the smallest amount of exercise leaves me completely worn out.

So I'm still thinking about going back on The Cambridge Diet. I did it during the 80's and lost a lot of weight, but I really didn't like the taste of the stuff. I always thought Carnation Instant Breakfast tasted way better. I've heard they have a new formula that's supposed to taste better, but I'm not sure I want to put money on the line to find out.