Swimmer's Butt

While The Wife and I were on our honeymoon, I discovered a Very Bad Thing.

Swimming, at least for now, is a bad idea.

It's not that I can't swim. I can. In fact, I used to be on my high school swim team. Beneath all the layers of blubber lie muscle memories of how to do a variety of strokes, including the butterfly.

There's only one problem with swimming -- my fat ass.

You see, as I've put on weight, the majority of it has accumulated on my butt, thighs and stomach. When I swim, it's like I've shoved a beach ball down in my pants. My ass floats high, which in turn forces my face deep under water.

I can't do the breast stroke because my face is submerged far too low to correctly breathe. When I bring my head up for air, I have to force my blubber butt under the water which in turn makes my lower back hurt. I can't do the crawl for the same reason. The backstroke is equally a disaster, because my face gets pushed under water. Sidestroke is hard, too, because once again my lard-filled behind wants to do what fat does on water. It floats.

I guess the good news is that if I fell off an ocean liner into the drink I'd float around forever until someone picked me up, or I drowned from my butt shoving my face into the deep. At least they'd be able to find my body, since there's no way all that fat could possibly sink.

Dieter's Dilemma

Have you ever noticed the following dilemma?

As soon as you decide to do something, or not do something, it becomes almost an obsession to do otherwise?

On Monday, I decided that it really was beyond time to get back on track. On Monday, I decided it was once again time to cut back on my eating, increase my activity level, and drink enough water to fill a swimming pool. So far, I've been doing it, but it seems that I am constantly obsessing over doing the wrong thing.

I don't feel like walking. I don't want to drink another ounce of water because I'm tired of peeing every 15 minutes. I'm hungry, and I'm obsessing about food I shouldn't eat.

I really am doing okay. Even today's hamburger horror wasn't a complete disaster. I had a bowl of soup, half a hamburger, a few fries, and a couple of bites of my kid's chicken strips. Given that I consumed only about 200 calories for breakfast, and plan on eating very little for dinner, I'm doing just fine.

But still, I'm obsessing about things I shouldn't eat, and dwelling on the fact that I don't want to exercise.

In response to my comment on Wednesday that I wanted to stab myself with a titanium spork, dancer-in-me left the following comment:

Can you get away?? Pamper yourself alittle? See a movie, pedi, shopping? Something to get away. OR take the family out to a movie or park and have a good time together. Something that will make you all laugh. It is true that laughter is the best medicine.

I would love a vacation, but the truth is, we just had one. Our honeymoon consisted of two days at a lovely resort, but it was just too short. I used up my only week of summer vacation because I decided to take days off for our wedding and honeymoon, so that's basically it for the summer.

I work at a job that doesn't offer any sort of paid time off, so it's really hard to get away. Even if I decide to take time off without pay, my boss inevitably calls and asks for something. During our honeymoon, he called to ask to perform a task that would have taken a full day to complete. I e-mailed him back from my cell phone and declined, as I hadn't had the forethought to bring a laptop on my honeymoon.

Our next break will be a long weekend of camping in August, but that isn't very satisfying because I want time off now.

I just need to find a way to be less grumpy and stop obsessing over what I shouldn't be doing on my own.

Titanium spork, anyone?

Hamburger Horror

Today is my father's birthday. It's one of those big, important, decade birthdays, but because of unfortunate family conflict, we aren't scheduling a party. There's no way that everyone can be at the same place right now without it being difficult and uncomfortable for the parties involved.

So, instead of having dinner with my father and other family members, he's leaving work to meet us for lunch at his favorite hamburger joint.

Now this particular hamburger place isn't just any hamburger restaurant. This place specializes in burgers, and offers a menu of 26 different choices. These guys make the best burgers I've ever had, and they aren't a fast food chain. They are locally owned, special, and unique.

On Thursdays, they also offer a Swiss potato soup that is out of this world. Imagine a rich, thick, white clam chowder, delete the clams, add a mountain of melted Swiss cheese, and there's your soup. It's almost thick enough to stand your spoon in the bowl.

Yum.

But today I have to go eat some of this delicious hamburger horror because it's my father's birthday. I'm looking forward to it, but it means that I'll be pretty hungry for the rest of the day. I'm going to have an instant breakfast drink this morning, and I'll probably have another at dinner, since the calories for the day have to be cut from somewhere. If I eat a million calories at lunch, it means I have to eat less somewhere else.

Yes, the restaurant does offer salads and stuff that's supposed to be good for you, but it is my father's birthday. This is one of those restaurants where you just have to have their signature food. You don't go to a seafood place to have a hamburger, and you don't go to an Italian restaurant to have French fries. The only reason for going to this particular restaurant is to have a hamburger, and that's what I'm going to have.

And if I'm hungry all day until lunch and hungry at dinner time, then I guess that's the price I'm going to pay.

Doubly Wanting to Stab Myself

Yesterday, I wrote about wanting to stab myself with a titanium spork.

Today, I still want to stab myself with that spork.

It's not because I'm having a hard time sticking to my diet, or even because I'm excessively dreaming about snacks. I'm actually doing a good job of staying on track. I've kept to my plan, drank lots of water, and even exercised.

It's just that I am grumpy.

The truth is that I've been really, really hungry today and I feel like snarling at everyone. I'm not tempted to cheat or anything, it's just that I feel like ripping my entire family's collective head off and tossing it down the garbage chute.

They haven't done anything wrong...really. (Well, unless I count the mess The Wife made in the living room with a bunch of packages that arrived on the Big Brown Truck, or The Kid excessively complaining because she didn't want to have rice for dinner.)

Okay, so they haven't done anything bad.

I am grumpy, and I want to murder them in their beds and quietly bury them in the backyard.

But of course I would definitely regret that move, so instead I'm sulking in the office and writing in my blog.

Tomorrow will be a better day. Right?

Oh heck, where is that spork? I think I'd rather just go stab myself now and get it over with.

Another Reason to Lose Weight

Earlier this morning, I was surfing around YouTube and I ran across the Eurythmics video Sweet Dreams. Although it's an unbelievable 25 years old, the video still holds up.

And, of course, Annie Lennox looks amazing in her suit and tie. I wish I could look that good.

Now I'll admit, I have a little thing for gender bending in both directions. I loved Julie Andrews in the 1982 film Victor Victoria, and I thought Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo were amazing in the 1995 film To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. It's fun seeing people step out of the expected societal roles and do something really different.

So I guess that gives me another reason to lose weight. If I do, then I might actually look as good in a suit.

Wanting to Stab Myself

Yesterday, I said that I was taking another stab at things, now that the wedding is over and life has calmed down. This afternoon, I just feel like stabbing myself in the eye with a titanium spork.

Diets do not do good things for my mood. I yelled at The Kid in a way-over-the-top way. She probably did deserve to be yelled at, but not in the immature, totally-lost-my-cool way that I did. Of course I apologized and told her that my behavior was unacceptable, but still...

What a dork I am.

Of course I can't blame this all on the diet. There's still a lot more going on behind the scenes that has me pretty stirred up. Some of our family members (on both sides) behaved like colossal dorks before, during and after our wedding. Two of our immediate family members went on a flat-out boycott, while the third claimed to have "another engagement" that day and couldn't attend.

I did pretty well in avoiding food yesterday until dinner time. I had one egg and one piece of toast for breakfast, an instant breakfast drink for lunch, and a banana for a snack. I blew it at dinner, though. I was so hungry I ate two hot dogs and had a double-helping of potato salad.

I guess the good news is that they were the standard small kosher hot dogs instead of the jumbo ones.

Oh well, I can always do better later. I just hope the SO didn't bring home anything fattening for lunch.

Taking Another Stab at Things

Well the wedding is over, the honeymoon is complete, the legal hassle involving The Kid has calmed down to a Dull Roar, and life is taking on a more normal appearance.

So now I'm actually trying to diet again.

I'm way up from my lowest weight, but still down some from where I initially started, so it's not all bad.

Honeymoons are not good for diets, especially if you stay at a fancy resort that serves gourmet meals.

Interestingly enough, it seems the more expensive the restaurant, the smaller the portion size.

Holding Pattern

Still not much going on here in Diet Land. I need to get back on track, but there seems to be so much else going on in our lives that this is just the "one more thing" for which there is not room in our lives.

Work is calming down, things with The Kid are calming down, but still everything isn't as we'd like. I'm just tired, tired, tired.

I'm still here, barely.

Lack of Excitement

Things here in Diet Land have really come to a screeching halt. Although I definitely feel a lot of pressure to "lose weight or die" because of our upcoming wedding, I'm still having a really hard time getting excited about the event.

I know I should be excited, but it's hard. I've received official word that my stepmother and sister are boycotting the affair because of their religious beliefs. I am hurt, The SO is hurt, and even The Kid is hurt.

I never thought I'd hear her say it, but the words, "I really don't want to see Grandma right now," just popped out of The Kid's mouth.

Wow.

So the diet is really pretty much stalled at the moment. I'm trying to do better, but getting motivated is really, really hard. At least the stress level around here has backed off a little For a while there, it looked like all the drama was going to take over everything. Our employment situation has stabilized, and things with The Kid have calmed down to a dull roar.

So maybe, one of these years, I can get back on track with my diet.

I know I should haul my ass outside and go for a walk around the block, but the weather isn't nice enough to really motivate me, and the idea of hoofin' it on the treadmill in the garage doesn't sound like much fun, either. I know I should also get out there and work out with the home gym we bought a few months ago, but it all seems so hard.

At the moment, I feel pretty proud of myself that I've managed to resist eating all the ice cream in the house. I know that's not really good enough, but at least it's better than nothing.

I'm having a really hard time getting motivated with much of anything. I have extra projects to do for work, and I don't feel like doing them. I am supposed to be exercising, but I don't feel like it. The house still needs a good Spring cleaning (our usual Passover scrub-down was lackluster at best) and I am having a hard time finding the energy to care.

About the only thing that I have been able to get done is daily practice for my music lessons. I guess that's an improvement, because for a while there I wasn't even able to find time to do that.

If I was going to sum up my life in one word it would be: bleah.

But hey, I haven't gained all my weight back, so that's better than nothing. Right?

Right!

Blogging from my Cell Phone

I have to say that blogging from my cell phone is not exactly my first choice. Sadly, A Very Bad Thing happened to my computer and it is down while we try to run a dta recovery tool.

Note to Mac users: If you send a PC user a .zip file with folders included, make sure your folder names don't have characters (such as colons) that are illegal in the Windows file structure. Bad Things will happen to your hapless victim and they will be very unhappy with you.

Such is the story of my life...

Although I have received a few very nice congratulatory messages about my upcoming wedding, I have to admit I am not feeling particularly excited. Perhaps it is because The SO and I have been together for 10 years, so it just doesn't seem so thrilling. Perhaps it's because of my family's lackluster response. My sister has already said she can't make it, and my father, mother and stepmother are being very non-commital. I am not sure they will even show up...

Right now, the wedding seems mor like a threat than anything else. "Lose weight, or else!"

Family Gone

They were here for a week, and now they are gone. It was a nice visit -- sort of.

It was great seeing my sibling and all my nieces and nephews. It was okay seeing my father and stepmother. It was less-great seeing my mother, though only for two days.

It seems that if there is a parade, my mother has to rain on it. This particular parade was rained on because my mother and sister are going through a spell of not getting along, and our mother will complain about it to anyone who listens.

But it was nice to see my sibling.

The food was good, too, though I've certainly done some damage in the diet department. At least it's not any worse than it's been. I've bumped up a few pounds after all the drama that's been going on in our lives.

I'm done being sick. I'm done visiting with family. I'm done working 60+ hours per week. Hopefully this means I'll be able to devote more energy to the weight loss department.

Oh yeah, and I found out we are getting married at the end of June. After 10 years of living together, I guess it's about time, isn't it?

Family Visit

At the moment, I am trying to post from my mobile phone. I have family visiting from out of town this week, which of course only means on thing -- FOOD.

Since The Kid, The SO and I live in a rather tiny and worn-looking house, all the visits have been held at my parents' house. Although the visits have been nice, the temptation to over-indulge has been hard to resist.

On the plus side, the relative who has been tasked with the bulk of the kitchen duties isn't a very good cook. Much of what has been on the menu are foods I simply won't eat (like pork) or dishes I love but won't eat when this particular relative prepares them (like over-cooked broccoli) so it has been easier to push away from the table.

What has really jumped out at me, aside from all the food trying to hurl itself into my mouth, is just how much more energy other family members seem to have. My sibling did a bunch of yardwork for my parents, and I was just amazed. I was exhausted just from watching.

I guess my get up and go has gone up and went.

I am a Frickin' Yo Yo

Part of it is because of my weight. It's up, it's down, it's up, it's down again... This morning it was up, yesterday down. It's all within 10 pounds of my lowest weight, so I'm not panicking, yet, but I am unhappy.

What's weird is it doesn't seem to matter what I eat. I can be good and put on five pounds. I can be terribly naughty and put on two, or lose three. It makes no sense.

Last night, we decided to go out to dinner. We are very broke right now, but decided to spend a very generous holiday gift certificate we'd received at a local Japanese restaurant. We had appetizers, sushi, tempura, sake, you name it. We made pigs of ourselves, and it only cost $1 above the limit of the gift certificate, plus what we left as a tip. My weight, of course, was up this morning.

It's hard to care right now, though, because I feel like I have several much bigger fish to fry.

Those fish involve:

• Ongoing problems with The Kid
• Ongoing problems with The Job
• Ongoing problems with The Spouse

And of course each of these problems creates its own set of sub-problems:

• Ongoing problems with The Kid
  
  • Hassling with social workers, lawyers and court officials
  • Having to miss lots of work to attend unnecessary meetings
  • Fights over every day stupid things like school, chores, and life, the universe and everything else
    
  • Stress, stress, and more stress


• Ongoing problems with The Job
  • Struggles with managing (and getting customers to agree to) a fair workload
  • Negotiating contracts
  • Worries about whether or not The Spouse will be employed
  • Stress, stress and more stress
    


• Ongoing problems with The Spouse
  • Squabbles about The Kid
  • Squabbles about The Job
  • Squabbles about money
  • Stress, stress and more stress
    

Seems like stress is a common theme, doesn't it?

I keep trying to be optimistic, and hoping things will soon be better, but much of the mess we've been slogging through with The Kid has been going on for months and there's no end in sight. And of course kid problems eventually spill over into the rest of our life, as evidenced by the job problems that are at least, in part, caused because of our inability to focus on (and sometimes attend) work.

Everything is connected, isn't it? You have problems with The Kid, and it starts to affect The Job, which in turn affects The Money, and pretty soon you are getting into fights with The Spouse, which in turn doesn't help the situation with The Kid, The Job or The Money.

And of course that in turn makes you really not feel like bothering with The Diet, because trying to figure out how many calories you have left after you are exhausted, broke, and bone tired just doesn't seem like much of a priority. And, since you are broke anyway, dinner is probably going to end up being macaroni and cheese instead of a plate of "delicious" steamed vegetables, when you can buy the generic macaroni several boxes to the dollar and those veggies you should eat cost four times as much.

So yeah, I am a frickin' yo-yo, and I almost don't care. Almost.

Doctor Visit

I have been sick.

Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick.

So I finally went to the doctor.

Though the reason I went to the doctor actually had very little to do with feeling under the weather. The reason I went was because I got a jury summons. I went to the doctor to write me an excuse note so I wouldn't have to go, since I've had a problem with irritable bowel symptoms off and on ever since I had my gallbladder taken out eight years ago.

Not that I would mind so much serving on a jury. I just think they would mind, as soon as I started bounding out of the jury box for multiple potty trips.

So I went to the doctor. She was pleased -- I've lost ten pounds since my previous visit last May.

Ten pounds? WTF???

By my reckoning, I've lost at least 20. Now, I'll agree that there's going to be a certain amount of variation between my scale and the doctor's scale, but I don't understand how I can show a 20-lb loss at home, and come up with only half of that at the doctor's office.

Can you spell discouraging? I knew you could.

We talked about a variety of things. She was happy I'd lost ten pounds. We talked about my ongoing problem with exercise-induced urticaria (hives), and she recommended that I consider cutting aspirin, tomatoes, fish, strawberries and nuts from my diet. She also recommended that I think about taking an over-the-counter anti-histamine before I exercise. She also suggested that an over-the-counter acid reducer such as ranitidine hydrochloride might help, as it has anti-histamine properties as well.

I don't think I'm too interested in giving up any of those foods, so I'm going to try going the anti-histamine route and exercising before I eat.

Bother.

The doctor also said that my dirty rotten cold had moved into my ears, and she thought I had the beginnings of an ear infection. I ended up coming home with a huge list of drugs, both OTC, and prescription. Some $80 later, I had an antibiotic, a cough suppressant, an expectorant, and two different types of anti-histamines. Oh, and a 7-day supply of a popular sleeping pill that sometimes causes sleep eating because I mentioned that I haven't been sleeping worth a darn for the past several months because of all of our legal hassles involving The Kid.

My insurance won't cover the $150 prescription, so a 7-day supply will have to do. When I found out my insurance wouldn't cover it, I told the doctor to forget it, but she told me to at least get the 7-day trial from the drug company's Web site, and we'll see what happens after that. Sleep is important, but I don't think it's $150 worth of important.

I don't have trouble falling asleep, I just can't stay that way. Once I wake up, then I can't go back to sleep, and I'll spend hours tossing and turning. It's making me tired, and I'm sure it doesn't help my weight loss efforts one bit.

Even though I am still moving in the right direction, I have to admit that losing a measly 20 pounds (or 10 pounds, if I go with what the doctor's scale says) in 10 months is pretty crummy.

I guess I'm going to have to hire a personal trainer or something...

Bleah.

Review: Skinny Songs

Earlier this month, I received an e-mail from someone who is involved in promoting a new CD entitled SkinnySongs. (Warning: link plays music) He sent me a note, wanting to know if he could send me a copy so that I could write a review about it on my blog.

Being incredibly curious, I agreed. I figured, why not? My blog has been pretty quite of late, so I thought having something to write about wouldn't be a bad thing. Between the holidays, legal hassles involving The Kid, lots of overtime at work and two really bad colds, I haven't had much that's particularly blogworthy to post.

Sure, I could have whined about all things rotten in my life, but I'm not sure how that would help me move forward with my weight loss efforts. Nobody likes to read posts from a constant whiner, so I figured silence in this case was definitely golden. The only major positive of late is that I've learned that colds, with their resulting loss of appetite, are good for my diet.

If it weren't for the fact that I've missed way too much work, I'd be telling everyone, "I'll have another side of germs, please."

Going back to the SkinnySongs CD, the whole idea sounded gimmicky and a bit silly. I have to admit to giggling when I read the e-mail. I couldn't imagine how a CD containing weight loss songs could be worth listening to, but I figured it was worth a shot. I clicked through to the artist's web site, and listened to a few clips. What I heard didn't sound so bad, so I e-mailed the gentleman back and asked him to send me a copy.

A few days later, I received a copy of the CD in the mail. On the front, it showed a picture of a woman zipping up her impossibly-tiny skinny jeans. On the back, it listed the following description:

If you've decided to lose weight and get in shape --and if you've ever sung along to a song at the top of your lungs because it really meant something to you--Skinnysongs^TM is made for you. I came up with the idea for SkinnySongs^TM because I wanted great music to keep me motivated about losing weight and getting in shape--but couldn't find any. So I convinced superb producers David Malloy and George Daly, and fabulous emerging artists such as Tania Hancheroff, Kaleo Futuristo, Larkin Gayl, Susan Shaton and Rachelle Byrne to turn the idea into reality. You can listen to these songs in your car, on your walk, at the gym, on the dance floor, or even in the kitchen if that's where they work for you. This isn't self help or preachy stuff, it's fantastic, radio-hit-quality music that just happens to be about winning your battle with the bulge. Enjoy!

-- Heidi Roizen, Founder and lyricist of SkinnySongs^TM

I'd never heard of any of these people, so I wasn't expecting a whole lot when I plopped the CD into my boom box in the garage. And, to be fair, the idea sounded like a far more girlie enterprise than anything I'd enjoy. I'm a professional curmudgeon, and stuff that appeals to most women turns me off in a big way. I don't do babies, make-up or dresses, and my idea of a quality weekend would involve spending an entire day washing, polishing and waxing my full-size pickup while grunting happily like Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.

As for things that motivate me for weight loss, I've learned that has to come from inside. Stuff that tends to motivate most people I tend to find off-putting. Weight Watchers meetings, for example, do nothing but piss me off because I get tired of listening to the same women whine about the same problems week after week. "But I stuck to my diet like glue, and gained three pounds."

But I digress.

Even though I didn't expect much when I popped the CD into my boom box, I was actually pleasantly surprised. Most of the songs on the disc weren't half bad, and some of them were actually pretty good. When I listened to the music, I felt like I was biting into something I expected to hate, but actually discovered was surprisingly decent.

The Pluses

The songs are recorded in a variety of styles, including pop, hip hop, and country/crossover. They all have a great beat, and definitely are well-paced for just about any kind of workout. The production values on the CD are as good as anything you could buy at the record store, and there's at least one song, Blowing You Off at Eight that with a little bit of a stretch, I could imagine hearing on the radio. Overall, I think the CD is pretty well done given the subject matter.

The Minuses

Most of the songs on the CD sounded like music I'd heard before. Although the lyrics were certainly different, each song had a familiar beat and tone that I couldn't place, but that I swore I'd heard before. That's not to say that I think the songs infringe copyright, but rather they were all produced in what I would consider a formula style. I also wasn't thrilled with the number of country/crossover tunes on the disc, as it happens to be one of my least-favorite styles of music. Of course this might not be a minus to someone who really enjoys country music.

Buy or Don't Buy?

The CD is available for purchase from a variety of sources, including Amazon.com ($14.99) and iTunes ($9.90 album/$0.99 song). It's clear this product is well-marketed, because it's available in so many different places. The price is certainly fair and in-line with other popular music.

In this case, though, I don't think I can make a strong recommendation either way, as to whether this is a buy or don't buy item. Music is very much an individual taste, and this CD appeals to a rather limited market in that it is targeted for women who are trying to lose weight. The music definitely has a great beat, and the lyrics are definitely motivating, but I'm not sure that they will appeal to every dieter.

I guess your best bet in making a purchase decision would be to visit the SkinnySongs Web site and listen to the music yourself.

I am glad I have the CD, though, and it will stay in the garage boombox next to my weight machine.

Thanks, Keane Li, for the CD. I've really enjoyed having the opportunity to listen to and review it.

Absent, but not Forgotten

It's been quite some time since I've updated this blog, mainly because I've been overwhelmed with some pretty negative life events. I can't go into details, but it all involves The Kid.

Needless to say, the stress has been over-the-top lately, and my diet efforts have pretty much stalled.

The good news: I didn't gain back all the weight I lost before all of this started.

The bad news: I'm a few pounds higher than my lowest weight.

So really, it's mostly good.

Over the years, my family has often given me checks of various sizes for gifts. For the longest time, I've just plopped that money in a bank account, saving it for a rainy day. No single check was really large enough to buy something noteworthy, so I just kept saving it, hoping I'd eventually have enough for a big-ticket item.

Well, I finally spent some of my hoarded money. I bought a Bow Flex home gym from a big box discount store.

It was expensive, though not as costly as the gyms sold online. It was a pain in the ass to put together. Now that it's up an running, I like it.

We'll see how much my muscles like it...

Look Great in 2008 (Week 9)

Although we are enjoying a small reprieve from the family crisis that has been brewing, things are going to heat up in the next couple of weeks. I'm trying not to worry, but it's hard not to, because not only are we worried about what will happen with The Kid, I'm also worried about the way things are going at work. They are expecting lots of overtime out of me, and I'm struggling to find the energy to do my work with the vastness of our family crisis looming.

Yesterday was my birthday. The Kid was sick, so we canceled my party. She felt better at dinner time, so we went out, but I'm teetering on the edge of a cold myself. The food tasted like cardboard. I didn't have a cake, see my family, or have any wrapped gifts to open. The SO had already given me my gift a few days before, and my mother mailed a birthday card with a check.

But I guess it's all just as well. I lost a pound this week. My weight was 230.2 lbs this morning, so that's something worth celebrating. At this point, I'll take small victories where I can find them.

Look Great in 2008 (Week 8)

Well the family trauma has died down a little bit, and I've actually been able to eat. I've noticed, that whenever I go through a period of not eating, my weight will spike a little bit, as it did this week. I'm up exactly 1 lb from last week, weighing in at 231.2.

Not bad.

The family crisis is still brewing, but it has eased a little. The problem is behaving much like a pot boiling over on the stove. When the heat gets turned down a little, the pot goes back to a rolling boil. In this case, the rolling boil involves social workers, therapists, special education services and a slew of other interventions. It's not pretty, and I don't expect things to be resolved for quite some time.

The big lesson learned here: don't ask for help when your kid is struggling. The people who claim to work in the system to help kids and look out for what is in their best interest are really just serving a political agenda that involves, money, power and the transfer of assets from one group of people to another.

I do want to thank everyone for the outpouring of kind comments and support last week. It's meant a lot that people I don't even know are willing to think of us and to pray for us. Everyone's continued support and kind thoughts are definitely needed, as the issues we are facing are deep and wide and could still very well come to an unpleasant and ugly ending.

We are hoping and praying for a miracle.

Look Great in 2008 (Week 7)

As I've been blogging, things have been very difficult at our house. Things are still difficult, and a family crisis of immense proportions has now erupted full force. It's been something that has been brewing for a while, and now it's reached nearly cosmic proportions.

Grief has an interesting way of taking away your appetite. I've lost 5.2 lbs since last week, and I haven't even been trying to diet. In the midst of all of the turmoil, food simply looks like cardboard, and even the idea of eating mostly makes me want to throw up. When I do eat, it sits in my stomach like a lead ball. Within 20 minutes, I end up running to the bathroom where it exits my backside in a huge explosion.

My weight this morning: 230.2. That's down a total of 26.8 lbs from when I started my diet back in April.

So, I guess there good things can come from great trauma and sadness in your life.

Sometimes, Family Trauma is Good for Your Diet

There are some very personal and traumatic things brewing over here at Chez Oinkstop which I don't feel I can blog about right now. They involve The Kid, and they are just heartbreaking. Perhaps, when things are resolved, I'll feel like I can say more. What I can say now is that prayers are needed. Please pray that the powers that be will do the right thing when it comes to The Kid.

On Halloween, I missed dinner (and trick-or-treating with The Kid) because I had to work. Last night, after getting some horrible news, I simply felt too queasy to eat. The SO spent the night crying and talking about what had happened.

This morning, my weight is down 3.4 lbs since Wednesday, for a pleasing weight of 232.0.

Sometimes, I guess family trauma is good for your diet.