Eat Your Elephant

I suspect that motivation is a real tough issue for most people who have a lot of weight to lose. As of right now, my goal weight is 130, which means if I ever arrive at my goal weight, I will have lost 127 pounds.

That's a lot of weight.

Not only is it a lot of weight, it also represents a huge investment of time. If I'm able to sustain a weight loss of 2 lbs per week, it means I will be dieting for a total of 64 weeks. A year and three months will be spent just getting to my goal weight. It seems impossibly far off.

It's pretty discouraging to think about in those terms. A year and three months is a long time, and knowing the way I lose weight, I'll probably be at it a lot longer. It's not that I can't stick to a diet, it's just that eventually my weight loss will level off and I won't lose anything for weeks or even months at a time.

I know I should be looking at this as an investment for my health and not as a diet. I'm already tired of rabbit food and being hungry most of the time. I'm tired of going to bed hungry and waking up hungry. I'm tired of counting calories, and saying, "No thanks" when I'm really starved.

Last night, I went over to visit my folks. They ordered out pizza. I had one slice, plus some fruit and vegetables from a veggie tray. I was starving, and my stepmother asked if I wanted more. "Oh, no thanks," I lied. "We had a huge lunch and I'm still not very hungry."

I should be happy. I've been consistently losing weight every week since I've started, and this morning I was below the 250 lb mark for the first time. I should be celebrating my successes, but instead I feel overwhelmed, hungry and disappointed. I know weight loss can't happen overnight. I didn't get fat overnight, and I'm certainly not going to get skinny overnight, either.

I keep reminding myself eat your elephant one bite at a time, and don't start at the butt.

It's just hard.